Almost everyone has worked with someone they find hard. You can't change them, but you can change how you handle it.
Direct answer
To deal with a difficult coworker, stay professional, try to understand what is driving the behaviour, set clear boundaries, speak privately about specific behaviour and its impact, keep short notes of serious problems and involve your manager or HR if it continues or becomes harassment or bullying.
7 strategies
- Look for the cause. Stress, workload, unclear roles or different working styles often sit behind it.
- Stay calm and factual. Short replies, no sarcasm.
- Set boundaries. "I can take questions until 3, after that I'm focusing."
- Describe behaviour, not character. "You interrupted me three times in the meeting" rather than "You're rude."
- Ask what they need. It can defuse a lot.
- Document serious issues: dates, what was said, who saw it.
- Escalate when needed. Your manager first, then HR.
Scripts
- "I want us to work well. Can we agree how to share updates?"
- "I'll finish my part by Thursday. I need your section by Wednesday to do that."
- "When you take credit for my work in meetings, it affects me. Can we agree how we present it?"
Types of difficult behaviour
| Behaviour | Approach |
|---|---|
| Takes credit | Share updates in writing, name contributors |
| Gossips | Don't join in, change the subject |
| Micromanages | Offer regular updates to build trust |
| Is rude | Name the behaviour once, calmly |
| Avoids work | Agree tasks and deadlines in writing |
Don't
- Vent to colleagues repeatedly
- Reply while angry
- Ignore bullying or harassment
Related
How to handle conflict at work and how to say no politely.
Where Teyro fits
Teyro's How to Manage Conflict at Work course teaches calming a heated conversation, clearing up misunderstandings, answering unfair criticism and setting boundaries. It has 50 short lessons and is free to start.
The bottom line
Be specific, stay calm and set boundaries.
